I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
