We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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