fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
