you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
