Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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