WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
