I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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