So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
