did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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