well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
