this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She bit a glass in half.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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