So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
