im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize