I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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