If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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