I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize