super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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