After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
