i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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