I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
