I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
