Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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