When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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