Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
