we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
