wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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