he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
