I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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