I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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