I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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