So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
