Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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