Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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