Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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