Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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