i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
