Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
