Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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