I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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