i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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