Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
