loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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