Cold hands, warm shart.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
