I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
