What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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