I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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