Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
