The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
