At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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