If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
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You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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