As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious