At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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