No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
