Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
