Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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