You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
