it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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