did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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