Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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