He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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