Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
