I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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