remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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