he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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