You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
